AT HOME (a thumbnail sketch)
BACKGROUND: Let's suppose we have a
family consisting of John and Mary Jones who have 4 kids called: Tom,
age 12; Steve, age 10; Alice, age 8; and David, age 4.
A "Family Council" controls
the Jones Household rather than just Mom and Dad. The parents have
assigned voting power to each child who sits on the Council (along with Mom
& Dad). The Council meets at the direction of its members once
a month, once a week, or whenever, to decide family happenings, budgeting,
spending, "household laws" with penalties, and etc.. This begins the
first step in taking parents out of the home-management business and putting
offspring into a program of self-management so children can become
"Superkids." Truly, the "Harrison System"
eliminates household stress and work for Mom and Dad. Read on
to find out how!
Let's further assume that Mom and Dad have decided that
their children are to have the following amount of voting power on the Council:
Tom has 3/4 of a vote; Steve has 1/2 of a vote; Alice has 1/4 of a
vote; and little David can merely express opinions until he is capable
of voting. Mom and Dad have one vote each. Thus,
the parents retain control of the household
until their children demonstrate the ability to earn more voting power -
which only the parents can decide and then upgrade.
A Family Council such as this gives children the very
real sense of full participation in all family business. The lazy child ,refusing
to participate, rapidly learns that he is still bound by
"Democratic Lawmaking" in the home of which he
has had no say - with the whole household against him as a "law-breaker (if
he breaks the Law)." This means that Mom or Dad is no longer the mean manager
who is unfair or unjust. It pits the rascal against everyone else in the
household. Few kids want this, especially when they know it's totally
within their power to perform properly and have a say in voting for laws
which all must obey.
With a Family Council, the Jones Family
is now welded together as no management family could ever be.
It's all for one and one for all! Just think about some of the
obvious advantages:
A. The
children (or parents) can now bring up anything and everything, personal
or otherwise, before the Council for a discussion and solution. No
family member will want to have secrets because extensive help, support,
and rapport is so valuable - and so available. Any personal happening
can become a "whole family experience and involvement." This united
power breeds a type of self-confidence and strength that no management-family
can match. Peers of the children will have little influence compared
to the Family Council. With an habitual attitude such as this, each child
feels completely empowered, has great self-esteem, and can be expected to
try to conquer almost anything that is socially good or desirable in the
eyes of the Family Council.
Thus, your children
are likely to possess great moral strength and leadership qualities.
Also, if Mom or Pop (or a child) ever make a mistake (as all do), the
rest of the Council will be there (perhaps) to help correct the individual
before damage is done.
B. Conversely,
no member of this family willingly brings
shame upon the household by violating "Home
Laws" made effective by Council vote. Any member who does -
automatically expects to suffer the known penalty before acting. So,
logically, few children (or for that matter - even parents) will have the
nerve, strength, or will to proceed with "unlawful" (or unsociable) actions
in the future. Wouldn't this be a wonderful habit to instill in everybody?
You could then forget about, drugs, gangs, crime, untrustworthy children
in undesirable situations, etc.!
DETAILS FOR
PERFECTING "SUPERKIDS"!
First: Once the Family
Council is in place, the household must begin a program
of "Self Accountability." This can occur only when a valuable
(to the age-level-child-involved) scorekeeper is in place (similar to our
adult money). This can be real pennies, poker chips, or anything tangible.
Or, better yet, it can be merely intangible
"Points" or "Home Dollars," which are credited
or debited in a "Bank Book."
This Bank Book should be a simple, loose leaf notebook
with a page in it for each person in the household. As Points are earned
(by doing household chores) they are credited to the individual's account.
As Points are lost (e.g. by violating Household Laws and paying the fine
the Council prescribes, or paying bills owed, or etc.) the Bank Book is
debited.
Besides the Bank Book, the household should also have
a "Law Book" where newly enacted Laws and the penalties
for each are entered. Thus, the family achieves true self
accountability with all happenings based upon the "Rule
of Law" rather than the "rule of authority."
Second:
The Scorekeeper ("Points") must be made
valuable!
So valuable that every child in the household hates to lose Points (pennies,
tokens, etc.) and will do almost anything to earn them (similar to
our adult dollars). This is not hard to accomplish if parents
will examine what is actually motivational
to children (not what PARENTS THINK should be motivational).
Let's look at a few examples which can be sold at auction to the highest
"Point" bidder or for a set price in Points:
A. TV and
telephone time or time on the computer.
B. Overnight
sleeping rights at a friend's house.
C. The
rental of vehicles such as bikes or other household owned items (cars come
later with older children).
D.
"Real-money" allowances for each child (the amount for each
child is determined by Council vote). 10 Points buys a dollar.
E. Sell
or auction, monthly, "Household Companies." For example: Baker;
Mechanic; Cook; Gardener; etc. These Companies earn (Council established)
Points for the buyer.
F. Tickets
to games, special events, etc.
G. Toys,
games, books, etc. which are popular with kids.
H. Parents
should sell seats in their car going to some motivational place which their
children really enjoy (e.g. beach, mountains, desert, etc.). This teaches
proper recreation!
I. Sell
whatever is motivational rather than give it away or "fair share it." If
two or more want something unusual, auction it.
A warning at this point should
be issued which all parents must
remember: Don't
sell basic necessities such as ordinary food, water, clothes,
etc. Instead,
children should become self responsible by learning
how to pay their "Fair Share" of actual living costs at
home!
Face it, if
you want children to learn self
responsibility you MUST allow them to practice it. Let's
see how!
ALL "SUPERKIDS" WANT TO PAY THEIR "FAIR SHARE"
Let's suppose that the "Jones Family Budget," or
expenses for a month, come to $2,400 cash. So, with six people
in the family, each person's "Fair Share" of such an expenditure should be
$400 cash.
There are two ways of providing this for each person:
A. Pay $400 cash to the Council.
OR B.
Perform household chores worth 4000 Points on the basis of 10
points equaling $1. Each chore is geared to the age-level of the child
involved.
Naturally, the two parents put up the $2,400 cash, initially,
and receive their fair share of 8,000 Points (4,000 each) which can be spent
on paying their children for personal needs or chores pertaining to
themselves. For example parents might want their shoes shined,
clothes ironed, a mess cleaned up, or TV time, car use, etc.
Let's further suppose Tom, age 12, says he wants to
contribute $100 cash from his paper route. He receives a 1000 Points
(1 to 10 ratio) to use personally like Mom & Dad. He then
must also earn 3000 points working at household tasks to pay his Fair
Share.
The Points can be accumulated only up to a total of each
individual's Fair Share for each month. In other words, if Mom doesn't
spend her 4000 Points awarded for the month she loses them. However, she
automatically earns another 4000 at the start of the next month in return
for the $400 cash she contributes to run the home. To do otherwise
would quickly relieve her, her husband, or even Tom of any self accountability
as huge sums in Points might accumulated.
As you can see, this is not only a powerful lesson
in self accountability, self responsibility and self esteem for the
child but it is also a way to help poor families in financial need
to cover costs.
HOUSEHOLD TASKS
The Council assigns household tasks and Points for each
on a fair and rotational basis. Or, it can auction the task to
the highest bidder if more than one want it. Under no circumstance can the
total available Points be exceeded. For example in the Jones
household: Starting with 24,000 Points, less Dad's 4000, less Mom's
4000, and less Tom's 1000, there are 15,000 Points available to the children
for tasks performed.
Any child failing to earn his or her required "Fair
Share" Points becomes "Bankrupt" and a
"Ward of the State." This means the child
reverts back to a managed status as he or she was before starting the
"Harrison System for Learning Self Accountability."
In other words, Mom and Dad become the household's
"Sheriff" for enforcement purposes. Actually,
the parents now become the Bankruptee's manager with strict and harsh
supervision required every day (no privileges are allowed) until the
rascal earns enough points to pay his Fair Share. Then, his freedom
and self responsibility return.
EVERY HOUSEHOLD NEEDS A "SYSTEM OF JUSTICE!"
The Council should vote into existence a
"Constitution" for inalienable rights of every
person in the household. A "System of Justice" MUST be established by alternating
Mom and Dad as "Judge and Jury" to try cases brought
before them. Yes! That's Right! One child can sue another
or even Mom or Dad (if they break the Council's Law). A
"Lawsuit" requires three things: "Clean Hands"
(Can't sue if the litigant caused the Lawsuit); Assessable Damages (in Points);
and Proof. A criminal case may require a fine and other consequences.
WIPING THE "SLATE" CLEAN -
OCCASIONALLY?
Occasionally, parents may feel sorry for their children
and want to terminate the "Harrison System" with the idea that they
will start everything all over again. This is possible! But don't
do it more than once! This gives children a false picture of "real life"
and promotes a "bail out" type of philosophy. Ask yourself this:
Isn't this the opposite from what you really want to teach?
Especially, to "Superkids" who don't really need it!
ANYONE WHO FEELS THIS THUMBNAIL SKETCH IS INSUFFICIENT MAY WAIT FOR OTHER ARTICLES TO BE WRITTEN OR BUY OUR BOOKS: The books are not expensive and they're fun to read! Two for teachers @ $32; Two for Parents @ $24; or Three if you are a parent and teacher @ $42. Add an additional $5 S&H charge plus 8% tax for Californians. Send a personal check (10 day clearance wait) or money (U.S Money only) order to: Allan E. Harrison, 21863 Brill Rd., Moreno Valley, CA. 92553; OR, you can purchase the books from http://www.celebrityhowto.com with a Visa or Master Card.